


The Guardians' Totally Awesome Vacation

by jswritingblog



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Other, Post-Guardians of the Galaxy (2014), Vacation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-09-14 02:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16904490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jswritingblog/pseuds/jswritingblog
Summary: After the demise of Ronan, the Guardians set out on a vacation to the resort planet Hedonica to celebrate; however, they soon discover that the resort has its own problems. (Ship undeclared).





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is the prologue of an ongoing commission. Enjoy!

The Guardians of the Galaxy were all piled into Peter’s ship, passing the time. Rocket looked up from fiddling with a mechanical device. Noticing the devilish look on Peter’s face, he groaned. “Quill, I know you’ve got something on your mind. Something that could probably kill us all. What is it?”

Gamora looked up from her book. Drax turned away from sharpening a weapon. Baby Groot turned in his pot. 

Peter smirked. “So, I’ve been thinking…what would you guys think of a vacation? All five of us, including small fry there.” Peter looked amongst his friends. Baby Groot grinned at being included. Rocket breathed a sigh of relief, eyes lighting up.

“Does it have anything to do with the word ‘vacate’? Are you asking us to leave?” Drax sounded confused. “I thought we were welcome.”

“No, no, Drax. Well, yeah, but he’s not asking us to leave. A vacation is where people go somewhere else and take a break from working for a while. Which I am all for, believe me.” Rocket grinned. “We kind of just saved a planet. I think we earned it.”

“Exactly,” Peter said, grinning himself.

“So, a vacation means being unproductive for an extended period of time. This is considered desirable? I frown upon laziness.” Drax narrowed his eyes.

“Uh, yeah, for a little while. Think of it as a way to recuperate and be ready to work better after it’s over.” Peter nodded.

“Ah. I suppose I can excuse it if it is explained this way. Anything that can improve productivity in the long term is desirable. Though I still find it odd.”

Gamora watched Peter carefully. “Where would we be going?”

“I mean, if you guys have any ideas, cool, but I think I know a place. Yondu used to bring us there when he needed some time to go carousing and stuff. It’s called Hedonica. Resort planet run by some trillionaire Xandarian. It’s not just for the filthy rich, believe it or not—there’s stuff we can afford if you know where to look.”

Gamora snorted.

Peter laughed. “I’m guessing you’ve heard of it.”

Gamora rolled her eyes. “Yes, I have. A den of scoundrels, not caring for tomorrow.”

“If you haven’t noticed, Gamora, we pretty much fit the first half. And the second half sounds good to me for a couple of weeks. I mean, I’ve been there once or twice. Hell of a good time, so long as you don’t even think about making book.” Rocket snorted.

Gamora scowled. “You cheated at gambling?”

“Well, technically—” Rocket fumed.

Peter put a hand on Gamora’s shoulder. “Hey, hey. There’s plenty to do on Hedonica besides gamble and drink, even though Yondu didn’t seem to get that. You ever been to a beach?”

Gamora seemed somewhat taken aback. “I have been on a few beaches, yes.”

“Yeah, but have you been able to enjoy any of them? Hedonica has a lot of different outdoor environments—it was terraformed, so that’s something the rich guy in charge could do. Imagine being able to watch the wildlife and lie in the sun for a while. Wouldn’t that be fun? Actually, first time I was ever on a beach was on Hedonica. I could show you where, too. And they do the equivalent of scuba-diving. Goddamn, the fish are beautiful there. Maybe they’ve even gotten more since I’ve been last, but we can’t know until we go.” Peter offered a rakish grin. Rocket sighed, irritated, but pushed it aside quickly.

“…Hm.” Gamora closed her eyes, considering this. “I will have to think about it.”

Rocket looked at Gamora, eyes pleading. “Aw, come on, Gamora! We’re gonna have a great time!”

Gamora looked over. “I never said the four of you couldn’t go, Rocket. I simply don’t know if I’m going to partake.”

Peter made his best attempt at a puppy-dog face. “We’re not the Guardians without you, Gamora. And this is a Guardians vacation. To celebrate wiping Ronan off the face of the galaxy. Come on, don’t you think it’s worth celebrating?”

Gamora snorted. “I suppose you have a point. Very well. Let us see how this goes…if and only if I get to review all your plans before we set off.”

Peter smirked. “Oh, ye of little faith! I see how it is. You can trust me with an Infinity Stone, but you can’t trust me with some reservations.”

Drax paused. “If you recall, I don’t believe any of us truly trusted you with the Stone, either.”

Rocket snorted. “Yeah. We really had no—”

“Okay! Okay. Deal. So long as we get a vacation, you can check it over all you like, Gamora.” Peter rolled his eyes, laughing. “I’m glad we’re all in. This is going to be great.”


	2. The Guardians' Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardians arrive at the hotel and visit a day spa; however, something doesn't seem quite right...

One flight later, Peter, Rocket (holding little Groot’s pot), Gamora, and Drax stood in the lobby of one of Hedonica’s many hotels. “Holy crap, this place is ritzy.” Rocket looked around, mouth open. “You think that’s polar sialgha fur?” He pointed at the rug—white and thick, stretched across a marble floor.

Peter shrugged. “Yondu and his gang weren’t poachers. I wouldn’t know.”

“Groot and I hunted one of those things once. Rare and hard to kill, so the fur is expensive as all hell. And they’re illegal to hunt without a permit—also expensive as all hell to get, by the way.”

Peter laughed. “What with how many units this guy has, I wouldn’t doubt he’s got a permit. Or he has contact with someone who does, anyway.”

“Wow.” Rocket stepped to the side and off the rug, seeming nervous. “Say, Peter, how did you manage to score us rooms in a place this nice? We aren’t going to have the cops breathing down our necks, are we?” He turned to Gamora. “Right? You checked this stuff over. Nothing illegal?”

Drax squinted at Peter. “I was considering such myself. Gamora?”

Gamora smiled slightly. “I find it amusing you’d worry about that. It is misplaced, though; nothing illegal happened here.”

Rocket didn’t seem convinced. “Then what—”

“Ah, friends!” Someone new spoke from close-by. Rocket jumped out of his skin. The voice laughed. “I see I startled you, Rocket the Raccoon. My apologies.”

The voice belonged to a tall male Xandarian in a long green jacket and dark pants. He clapped Peter on the back. Peter nodded. “This is Katyr Alsynthe, the governor of Hedonica.”

Katyr nodded. “And the five of you need no introduction. You saved my boyhood home from that wicked Kree Ronan. It is only proper that I provide fitting accommodations and entertainment for the stay of such heroes as you are free of charge.” He smiled, reserved but warm, and turned to Rocket. “I would suggest, though, that you avoid trouble at the gambling tables.”

Rocket cringed. “You heard about that?”

Katyr laughed. “Of course. It would have been brilliant if I hadn’t had the finest in anti-fudging technology arranged. On that note, I should get you out of this line. Excuse me!” Katyr waved down a younger, dark-haired woman in a concierge’s uniform, quickly reading her nametag. “Miss…Alia? Please, show these honored guests to their rooms.”

The woman smiled, grin wide. Her eyes flashed in a way that was hard to place. Gamora’s eyes narrowed. “Of course, sir.” She turned to the group. “Does anyone need help with their bags?”

Peter looked at each of the others, then shook his head. “Nah. We handled an Infinity Stone; I’m sure we can handle a few suitcases.”

“Then follow me. You are on the twentieth floor.” Alia walked toward what appeared to be an elevator, checking back occasionally to make sure that the group was following. Peter was the closest behind, followed by Gamora, Rocket (with Groot) and Drax, in that order.

The elevator was spacious, more than able to fit the six occupants and their suitcases. Drax was closest to the door, and he punched in the number 20. Peter turned to Gamora, smiling. “Say, you think this is gold-plated?” He motioned to the handrail.

Gamora opened her mouth to answer. Alia cut her off. “Yes, it is. Though it certainly isn’t Terran gold. This is Eltharian gold. Finished with a special varnish to prevent anyone removing it, of course. Can’t have that.” That same wide grin.

Peter nodded, stunned. “Damn. What else can you tell us about this place?”

“Well, what else do you want to know? I can talk about just about all of the amenities or the history. You see—”

“And how do you know so much?” Gamora was quiet.

Peter looked at Gamora. “Gamora, don’t interrupt.”

Alia didn’t seem phased. “Oh, employee training. Plenty of people who stay here have questions. That, and it helps when your dad helped build the place.”

“I see.” Gamora paused. The doors to the elevator opened out into a red-carpeted hallway.

Alia stepped out, motioning for the group to follow. “Your rooms are 2001, 2002, 2003, and 2004.”

Peter grinned and turned to Gamora. “You think we’re—”

Gamora shook her head. “I assumed Rocket wanted to keep an eye on the infant, Quill. We’re staying in separate rooms.”

“Oh.” Peter looked crestfallen. Rocket rolled his eyes. The group followed Alia to their rooms.

Alia cleared her throat. “Your rooms should open with a full-body scan,” She motioned to the dark-brown circles directly in front of the silver doors. “If you experience any problems, feel free to ping the front desk and we will send someone to help in short order. Do you need anything else?”

Rocket shook his head, looking around. “Nah, I think we’re good.”

“Excellent. I’ll see you later.” Alia walked off. Gamora watched her as she left, eyes narrowed. Peter looked over at her, confused, but said nothing. A momentary silence.

“Well, should we go in? Let’s see how awesome these rooms are.” Peter grinned, nudging Gamora.

“Yes. We may as well unpack. Then…we did not plan anything for this first night, correct?” Gamora stepped away slightly.

“Exactly. The hotel has enough to offer that I didn’t think we needed anything extra tonight. Casino, swimming pool, day spa…”

“Day spa?” Drax looked at Peter. “Can we even go there at night? And what is a spa?”

“Of course we can, Drax—the place is always open. And a spa is where you go to have relaxing cosmetic treatments.”

Rocket grinned. “You think they do claw manicures? Because my claws are kind of getting in the way of my work, and it’d be awesome if the people here could do something about it. Groot used to let me file them down on him, but…” A somber pause. “The kid is a little too small and green for that.” He looked down at the pot in his hands. Groot kissed him on the nose, making soothing noises. Rocket smiled.

Peter smiled. “Sure. They probably do manicures on all kinds of hands. Or paws, as the case may be. Why don’t we all go? I mean, sure, on Terra it isn’t exactly manly to go to a day spa, but we aren’t on Terra, are we?”

Drax paused. “Hm. This does not sound entertaining to me. But I suppose I can try it. I have been surprised before.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I guess you’ve been surprised again, huh?” Rocket smirked at Drax from the leather chair where he was getting his manicure.

Drax reclined in a bubbling mud bath with a drink in his hand, eyes closed. “Very much so. They even serve new forms of that liquid we had on Knowhere! This one is called a daquiri. I like it very much.”

Peter laughed from the massage table. “Don’t drink too much booze, Drax. You know what happens the next morning if you have too much.”

“Ah, yes. I remember that quite well.” Drax shuddered.

Gamora looked over from the table next to Peter. “Hmm. I didn’t expect you to be responsible, Quill.”

“Eh. Not really doing it for his sake. If he’s hungover tomorrow, we have to deal with it too.” Peter shrugged.

Gamora rolled her eyes. “Of course. I was going to commend you, but I see your ulterior motive now.”

“Hey, you can still commend me if you want. I don’t mind.” Peter winked.

Rocket looked away. “Well, soon as my claws are done, I’m headed back upstairs. It’s been a big day.”

Peter looked over, pleading. “What, you’re not going to come check out the pool? I’ve heard they’ve got some killer slides. Among other things.” His eyes glittered at the thought.

“I said I’m going upstairs, okay? Have fun at the pool. Paddle around, stare at babes, all that jazz.” The manicurist finished with Rocket, and he rose from the chair, walking out of the spa.

Gamora looked over at Peter. “What do you suppose is wrong with him?” She looked over at the spa exit.

Peter shook his head. “Dunno. But I’m going to go talk to him. See if I can’t help him feel better.”

Gamora sighed, groaning at the kneading from the masseuse. “I don’t think that’s a particularly good idea. But you can try.”

“Of course I can try. If something’s wrong with Rocket, I want him to feel better. It’d be no good to have a Debbie Downer on our vacation. Make sure you get Groot.”

Groot waved from a playpen, one hand on an alphabet block.

“Of course.” Gamora sighed. “Of course. Do not blame me if he doesn’t want to listen.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Peter knocked. This was room 2004—it should be right. “Rocket, it’s me. Open up.”

It took a few more tries, but Rocket opened the door, looking sour. “What do you want?”

Peter walked inside. “Just wanted to know what’s up with you. You really wanted this vacation, but you’ve been pi—upset for no reason most of the day. I don’t want you to feel down when we’re supposed to be having fun.”

“What, afraid I’ll ruin yours?” Rocket rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m sure you two will have an excellent time.”

“We two—Gamora and me? Rocket, are you serious? You…” Peter’s mouth fell open.

“No, it’s not like that. I’d rather not talk about it, okay? But I’m not interested in her. You don’t have to worry about that.”

“Then why is it a problem that Gamora and I might become a thing?” Peter looked Rocket in the eye, curious.

“It’s…it’s not a problem. Look. I…oh, God dammit. You’re not going to shut up about this until I tell you, are you?”

“Nope.” Peter sat in a chair. “So you may as well get it over with. You’re my pal, and I don’t want you feeling down if there’s anything I can do.”

Rocket flopped down on the bed—much lower to the ground than the beds in the other rooms. “Okay, okay. So…I looked some stuff up, and I probably am some patched-up mechanical raccoon. You had that right.”

“Uh-huh?” Peter leaned forward.

“And you know what? I don’t think anyone who’s sapient…I don’t think anyone who’s sapient is going to want to be with a lower life-form. Even one who can love them back.”

“Oh.” Peter looked solemn.

“So no, it’s not that I want her. It’s that you two even have a shot. The people I want wouldn’t want me, and the people…the animals…who’d want me…they can’t love me, Peter. They can’t even consent. And I’m not down for that. God knows I had enough done to me without my consent. I don’t want to do anything to anyone who can’t tell me they really, truly want it.” Rocket took a deep breath, looking close to tears. “So there. That’s what’s wrong. I’m happy that you guys can have chemistry and might be able to love each other, but it hurts to watch.”

There was a pause as Peter considered how to respond. “Well…”

“You don’t have to say anything. There’s really not a whole lot you can do.” Rocket shook his head.

“Don’t be so sure. Where are we, Rocket?” Peter didn’t smile. Not yet.

“In a hotel.” Rocket rolled his eyes. “Where are you going with this?”

“On Hedonica. Lots of people come here for a good time. From all corners of the galaxy. Now, you’re right in that most of the people here aren’t going to want you—”

“Gee, thanks, buddy. You really know how to—”

“Hey, let me finish. You’re right in that most of the people here aren’t going to want you, but I’m almost certain there’s someone from some small and furry species who’d love to meet you, okay? We can try to find you someone.”

Rocket paused, thinking. “…Maybe. If we find someone, we can see how it goes.” A deep breath.

Peter offered his hand for a high-five. “That’s the spirit.”

“I’m not getting my hopes up.” Rocket shook his head.

“You don’t have to. Mine are high enough for the both of us. We’ll get you a good lay in no time, buddy. You’ll see. Now, don’t leave me hanging.”

Rocket snorted, shaking his head again, but his eyes were warm. “Well, it’d be a good start, at least.” He gently returned the high-five.

Someone knocked at the door. Both Peter and Rocket turned. Rocket hopped off the bed and flipped the viewport on. Gamora, carrying Groot. Rocket opened the door. “Hey.”

“Hello. Everyone is alive, correct? I came to drop off the infant and perform a head count.” Gamora looked past Rocket, saw Peter in the chair, and breathed a sigh of relief.

Rocket laughed. “Yeah. What, you thought I was going to claw his face off?”

“I wouldn’t have put it past you if he had said the wrong thing. As he is wont to do on occasion.” Gamora placed Groot under a sun lamp on a desk. Groot smiled and closed his eyes, leaning into the light.

“Fair.” Rocket snorted. “But this time, he was actually pretty cool about it. We worked it out for now, I think.”

Peter gave Rocket and Gamora a lopsided grin. “I was going to be mad, but hey, there was a compliment to balance out the insult, so. Should I be neutral?”

“If you would like.” Gamora sighed. “I am glad things didn’t come to blows.”

“Me too. Is Drax coming up?” Peter tilted his head.

Gamora grinned. “I believe we may have to drag him out of that tub. He’s taken to it. Thankfully, he’s only had the one drink. At least, when I left him, that’s all he’d had…though I wouldn’t put it past him to have gone for more in my absence.” A worried look. “Perhaps we should return to the spa to retrieve him.”

Rocket nodded. “Yeah. We all know the kind of stuff that guy gets up to if he’s had a bit much. Let’s not let him get there.”

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The three Guardians left room 2004 (leaving Groot standing in the sun lamp) and walked down the hall, getting into the elevator. Upon arriving on the fifth floor, Rocket, Gamora, and Peter discovered Drax lying cartoonishly sprawled in the tub, head back, empty glass in his hand.

“Drax? Drax. Is he breathing?” Rocket leaned forward.

Peter nodded. “He’s alive. Just asleep, I think. Who’s going to wake him?

The Guardians looked at each other in silence. Rocket broke it with, “Okay, here’s the plan. I’m going to need—"

An aide from the spa’s front desk walked over. “Excuse me, are you the companions of the man in the mud bath?”

Rocket deflated. Peter spoke first. “Yes, we are. He…probably doesn’t startle well. War vet, see. And we’re trying to figure out how to wake him up without him breaking something attached to someone else.”

“Yeah. Waking him without him breaking stuff would be nice.” Rocket looked over at Drax, uneasy.

The aide smiled. “Ah, I believe I have an idea for that. I simply wanted to make sure that his party was with him, in case there was anything I should know about him first. Is the man in good health?”

Peter turned to the aide. “So far as we know. What do you have in mind?”

“This is not the first time someone has fallen asleep in our spa facilities. We have a device that can wake him quickly and without loud noise or movement. It makes the same sound we use in our alarm clocks, as a matter of fact. Let me show you.” The aide removed a small speaker from her pocket and snapped her fingers.

As soon as the soft, droning noise of a single note played on a piano rang out from the speaker, Drax opened his eyes, looking around. It took him a moment to realize where he was. He blushed. “Ah! I suppose the cosmetic treatment and the liquid combined proved to be too much for my discipline. I deeply apologize.” He climbed out of the tub, and the aide directed him to the showers.

The others stared in disbelief. “That’s pretty damn awesome.” Peter gazed at the speaker.

“Damn straight. How does it work?” Rocket approached the aide.

The aide smiled. “It’s simply a matter of finding the right frequencies. The speaker is configured to play at a frequency that is incredibly good at waking most humanoids from sleep.”

Gamora remained silent.

Peter paused. “Well, I think Drax had the right idea. All that pampering and counselling has got me wiped out. We should probably get to bed.” He was going to add more, glancing at Gamora, but decided against it.

Rocket yawned. “Sounds good to me.”

Gamora nodded, still quiet.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Drax finished washing off, the four Guardians returned to the twentieth floor. Gamora walked into her room, sat down at the mahogany desk, and pulled out a tablet and stylus. She opened a new file in a folder labeled “Journal”, then paused. She glanced around the room, then began to write.

The vacation seems to be going well so far. The governor made good on his promise to allow us free lodging and entertainment, which is appreciated. We went to a day spa; my first time at anything resembling such ever. I got a facial and massage. Rocket seemed to have some emotional trouble, but Quill, surprisingly enough, seemed to have it under control; I shall have to keep an eye on things even so. Drax, the oaf, fell asleep in a mud bath in the time it took for me to go from the spa to our rooms and back. I doubt Quill will let him live it down anytime soon. Other than that,

Gamora paused, stylus hovering over the tablet. After some deliberation, she finished the entry with,

nothing to report.

With that, Gamora prepared for bed, then climbed in after shutting off the lights.

END DAY 1.

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to commission something yourself, visit https://www.deviantart.com/jswritingblog . Be warned; some of the works on that account are fetish-related.


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